Woman Thanks Man For ‘Slut-Shaming’ Her

Woman Thanks Man For ‘Slut-Shaming’ Her

This is so common sense. I just love it.

Amy Molloy was sitting in a courtyard in North Sydney when a man approached her.

“You better go, he said. “All the local drug dealers are perving on you.”

He totally caught her off guard.

The stranger went on to tell her that she was sitting in a dangerous area.  Bad dudes were creeping on her hard.

“What do you expect when you’re wearing such tight pants?” he told her.

“It would have been funny if he had been joking,” Molloy wrote. “I was wearing a pair of bright green Lululemon yoga pants that are no more provocative than any gym-goer’s outfit. Yet, in that moment I felt like I had walked down a dark alleyway at 3am wearing a nightgown.”

Instead of jumping up and yelling at him for being a misogynistic, slut-shaming jerk, she listened and thanked him.

“I had a choice as to how to respond to this comment. I could deliver a scathing one-liner (‘What do you wear to the gym? Oh, wait, clearly you’ve never stepped foot into one’). Alternatively, I could stand by my fashion statement (‘I like wearing tight pants. They make me feel sexy. Is it any of your business?’).”

“Instead, as I hastily gathered my possessions from the table, I did something, which will probably infuriate many women – I thanked him and I meant it. I don’t think any man has a right to tell a woman how she should express herself – either stylishly or sexually – but in that moment I had to admit the stranger might have a point.”

He absolutely did. He wasn’t slut-shaming, but looking out for this woman. Isn’t that what we want men to do? Respect women and look out for them?

I almost always wear yoga pants to the gym, and if I have to run in a store after, I usually bring a long shirt and tie it around my waist. Why? Because the reality is, this world is full of disrespectful pervs, and there’s nothing I can do about it. The modern day feminist movement doesn’t seem to understand that. No one’s stopping anyone from wearing tight pants, but realize it might attract unwanted attention. Don’t get mad at everyone else. Look out for yourself. It’s not that difficult to understand.

You wouldn’t get those words of advice from the attendees at Amber Rose’s recent slut walk. If you watched any of the footage (God forbid) you’d find women wearing provocative clothing, twerking and holding up signs with the words, “Strippers have feelings too.”

Molloy had a different take, and a refreshing one at that.

“In my situation, the stranger’s comments could fall into the category of ‘concern trolling’. This phrase, coined by slut shaming activists, describes a derogatory comment thinly this is disguised as concern for a woman’s safety. Another example would be, ‘Look at that poor girl in the low cut top – she must have really low self-esteem.'”

“But, did the stranger have a point – even though he phrased it ineloquently. Look at the evidence; I was in an area of the city with a reputation for muggings, I was sitting with my iPad on the table and my unzipped backpack on the ground at my feet with my wallet on show.”

“For the past 30 minutes, I had been talking loudly on the phone to a girlfriend about why a guy she’d met on Tinder hadn’t stayed the night after having sex with her. I was sitting in a high-risk area and I wasn’t exactly going under the radar. Although that guy shouldn’t have told me to leave the area, he was correct when he said I was putting myself in harm’s way.”

She told her fiancé about the incident, and he had a very common sense take too.

“How do you know he was a slut shamer and not a good Samaritan?” he told her. “Perhaps he comes from a conservative family and was really trying to do you a favor.”

“Think about it this way: nobody has a right to steal my money, but I’m still always going to cover my PIN number at an ATM and not flash around wads of currency.”

Yes. Exactly. Bingo. This is common sense people. More please.

h/t Daily Mail

Comments

  • Wootsauce

    Wow! Maybe what this world needs is more danger… seems to be a great learning tool

  • The_Kat

    I’ve been jumped on for saying women should take an active role to prevent their own victimization as if I were blaming the victim. There will always been rapists, thieves, and murderers who prey on women who are alone, have valuable possessions, obviously unarmed, drunk or high. Criminals are nothing more than carnivorous animals who always look for the easy prey. It doesn’t hurt to avoid being a victim of a crime by being a less desirable target.

    • AmethystTear

      I think there is a big difference between slut shaming and what this situation. Situational awareness is a crucial skill to have and understanding what makes you vulnerable. I’d say that her lack of attention to her belonging probably put her more at risk though than tight pants. Working with perpetrators in the past, what they look for is vulnerability not sexuality. If a woman shows she is aware and confident, she is less likely to be a target. Eye contact, the way they walk, their tone of voice often plays far more into victim selection than anything sexual.
      To me, slut shaming is different. Like sometimes you’ll hear people say that because a woman had sex earlier in the day she couldn’t have been raped. To me, even if a woman had sex three times with three people earlier in the day, that doesn’t mean that she can’t be raped. Now, I certainly wouldn’t recommend that behavior and its high risk, but a woman should have the right to choose her sex partners and who she has sex with and still be able to hold someone accountable who has sex with her without her permission.

      • M_Shaff13

        my dad drilled situational awareness into me growing up. he would always ask me what is the first rule of self defense? A: Situational Awareness! Like every time I left the house that is what he would say… It is so important to be aware of who and what is going on around you!

        • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

          That’s a good idea.

      • backwardsprogress

        Arguing for situational awareness while being absent minded of common sense is a recipe for disaster.

        Dressing provocatively will only draw attention. It will also draw assumptions, and bring all kinds of men to the stable seeking some kind of benefit.

        If only this world were filled with men who only had good intentions, we wouldn’t be having this discussion would we?

        • msamericanpatriot

          And feminism has basically robbed the planet of men of good intentions.

        • AmethystTear

          It draws attention but honestly not often with sex offenders. Actually, women who dress sexy and like themselves often are not who they are looking for. They are looking for women who are vulnerable, appears to not have a lot of support or boundaries. Now, sometimes women who are dressed provocatively do fall in that category but the cues are not what they are actually wearing but all the other actions that go with hit. Are they intoxicated? Are they insecure? Do they seem to be wanting attention or desperate for attention? Those are all much bigger draws to a sexual predator than the actual clothes because it’s a crime of power, not of sexual attractions. A woman who exudes power and a sense of agency is more than likely going to scare off a predator no matter how she is dressed. They will go for someone who is easier and less likely to fight back.

    • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

      Except that people always seem to think that if someone is intent on imposing violence on a woman, it’s somehow up to her to dress a certain way in order to avoid it. Do we put the same responsibility on children who are assaulted by a pedophile? No, we don’t. We know the pedophiles appetite is what is wrong, not the child.

      Instead, we don’t depend on CLOTHES to protect a child from a pedophile. We keep them in safe places, keep them under watch, etc. We don’t give a second thought to what they are wearing….or in some cases, if they are wearing anything at all. We know how they are dressed or undressed IS NOT THE ISSUE.

      • The_Kat

        Rapists know that women who dress scantily and have consensual sex with a lot of partners will get annihilated in court. They know all about “slut shaming” and use it to their advantage. It is part of that prey mentality. It is the same for guys who commit date rape when a woman makes out with them but doesn’t want to have sex. They know they can say she “wanted it” just to discredit her. Women being smarter about the men they interact with and being aware of that is going to protect them more than just starting a #NoMoreSlutShaming campaign.

        • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

          Very few rapes are “planned” in terms of a rapist carefully picking out his prey the way you describe. First and foremost, most rapists don’t target their victims in terms of whether or not they’ll have a defense in court. They really aren’t planning on getting caught. Some might target hookers for that reason, but if that were largely the case, only hookers would be raped. Then, if they are thinking that much about it, they are less likely to go with a hooker or a promiscuous woman, just because of the STD risk.

          You aren’t describing a simple prey mentality, your describing a sociopath mentality. And that’s a different ball of wax. There aren’t any clothes that protect you from that.

          • msamericanpatriot

            Wrong. Ever heard of the path of least resistance. Apparently not. Rapists head for the woman wearing fewer clothes aka slut attire because they are EASIER to rape.

          • The_Kat

            There are plenty of sociopaths to go around. We have one running for president under the Democratic ticket.

            If rapists don’t “plan” rapes or think about getting caught than why do they wear condoms when they rape a woman?

    • msamericanpatriot

      I have too. My father raised me to take an active role in my self defense.

    • CatoYounger

      Exactly. I think a woman should be able to walk down the street totally naked in a bad neighborhood at midnight, but I wouldn’t suggest it. Feminists want to be unwise, so they can force other people into modes of behavior THEY want. Its all about control. It always is with the left.

      • The_Kat

        If she had a holstered handgun on her hip, I’d say go for it. If women aren’t capable of physically fighting off an attacker, then they have to be smarter in staying safe. It is one thing to teach men not to rape but we should also teach women to protect themselves and learn how to be less vulnerable.

  • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

    Yeah, nice of the guy to bring it to her attention.

    He could have done it without making a comment on her attire because the fact is that unless you make yourself invisible, pervs are gonna perv, regardless. Doesn’t really matter what a woman wears or doesn’t.

    It’s the same old, ‘you’re asking for it’ when you’re really just minding your own damn business….and that is what is unacceptable.

    • backwardsprogress

      Pervs are gonna perv, regardless. Doesn’t really matter what a woman wears or doesn’t.

      BS! All men are psychologically visual creatures. It’s innate and absolutely part of who we are irregardless of social, environmental, or any other factors that might exist on this earth. With that said, there are degrees upon what a woman wears will affect a man and his thoughts. The controversial being the yoga pants. Because….

      Women will put on a pair of yoga pants and think they look like this.
      http://www.spiritvoyage.com/ProductImage/SVB-00256300×300.jpg

      Men on the other hand see this –
      http://i1.wp.com/bonjourmademoiselle.eu/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/11.jpg?resize=500%2C714

      With that said… I’m not complaining… just pointing out a mistake women make when they have no clue and make statements like the one you made above.

      • backwardsprogress
      • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

        Oh. So are you saying men are so weak that they are incapable of self control? That women have so much power as to make a man loose all sense of what is right and wrong all based on what she does or does not wear? That a man who may be overwhelmed at the possibility should put all the responsibility on the woman so he may not stray or do wrong?

        Really?

        I disagree.

        • backwardsprogress

          Self-control… from doing what? You got upset with the guy who commented on her attire because it you felt it was an unnecessary point. And he didn’t do anything but make a comment.

          You wrote the following on someone else’s post: “They weren’t stalking her because she was wearing yoga pants. They were stalking her because she was a woman who looked vulnerable ie: not aware of her surroundings, perhaps a slight physical build.”

          So wrong and I don’t even know where to start or even explain this to you. In the story, the guy stated that local drug dealers were perving on her. 1) Local drug dealers are not your typical crazy rape anything that moves type of miscreants. 2) The local drug dealers didn’t see her and think hmm… she looks vulnerable. That’s like saying when a guys meets a girl, he assesses her personality before her physical traits. No, they saw her physical traits, ie something they wanted first, and then assessed her vulnerability second. It’s not a complicated situation or thought process. They saw something they liked (her physical looks) and then they wanted it or at least fantasized about it.

          Now granted she could have sat there and said alright thanks… and maybe nothing would have happened. I’d argue most likely nothing would have happened. At most, she would have gotten random guys asking her out or commenting on her physical appearance outright. None of which are illegal. But not everyone cares for that kind of attention … so who knows.

          I’d also like to point out that she was wearing light green lululemon yoga pants as stated in the article above. Now, if anyone knows anything about yoga pants, its that the lululemon brand not long ago was under fire because they made their yoga pants with the thinnest of material. And depending on who was wearing it, resulted in the following catastrophe… https://www.bodyrock.tv/wp-content/uploads/2013/11/Sheer-Yoga-Pants.jpg

          Or this… http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3PEYBAz5xDY/T75Q0-9YbcI/AAAAAAAAA3U/3WbkhK56Gqc/s1600/sofia-vergara11-sheer-stockings-12152011-06-675×900.jpg

          Or this.. https://blueollie.files.wordpress.com/2013/03/2seethru.jpg

          You might as well wear a blinking sign that says… hey look at my ass. Again, guys will look. Nothing wrong with that. Guys might take pictures. In public, nothing wrong with that. Heck some guys might even fantasize. Some would argue nothing wrong with that also.

          So what part of self-control is lacking in men that offends you?
          Local drug dealers are already criminals and low-lifes. Do you really expect them to care that you don’t like to be sexually assaulted or raped? Good luck.

          • Ashley Penn

            I agree. If I’m walking in an area with dangerous criminals, I’m not gonna flash my Rolex and wave cash in the air.

            IF I’m in an area riddled with pervs (and I tend to avoid places like that), I’m not gonna put my goods on display to tempt them further.

            I grew up with a perv dad. I know what they like to look at.

          • backwardsprogress

            Well said! Do people think we live in some kind of utopia where we all see each other for our personalities and not our looks. Are we all robots where our responses are devoid of our environment?

            When my wife wears yoga pants, seeing her butt, its shape or I dunno… something about a woman’s butt, but it naturally arouses me. Here’s the kicker. I ALWAYS notice it. It’s not like there is some floating warning sign telling me that she’s wearing tights which is technically what yoga pants are. She gets a hair cut. Eh, I probably will or won’t notice it. She gets her nails done, same. She gets a new article of clothing. I’ll never notice that. She’s wearing something revealing or something that sexualizes some part of her body, I will notice that 100% of the time. I don’t make those decisions in my head. I don’t decide what I will or what I won’t notice. It all happens instantly and instinctively.

            However, depending on my day, the stress or how busy it’s been or my hormonal level or whether I ate carbs earlier that day, will it actually stir desire or arousal in me. Keep in mind, I spend every day with her. Do I objectify my wife from time to time. Sure. I don’t control when it happens. My brain makes notices and highlights the physical connection automatically before it makes the emotional connection.

            Now if she were to go out in public with those same pants on, I can guarantee you other men are going to look and assess. For most men, it happens instantly. However, I have noticed there are some men who make an extra effort to assess more than once. And for that reason, I ask my wife to at least wear something like a longer shirt or something that covers her butt if she wears yoga pants in public.

            Granted my wife has a great butt. And I don’t say that subjectively. I mean objectively as much as I can be objective about it. And it bothers me when men stare because I can already assume the thoughts that go through their minds.

            Sorry, didn’t mean to make this so personal.

          • Ashley Penn

            It’s cool. My hubby thinks I have a great butt, too! Especially since having kids. So I wear mini skirts when I’m cleaning. I get the freedom to position my legs easily when scrubbing tight spaces, and he gets something to look at while folding laundry. Win-win.

          • backwardsprogress

            Making it matter where it counts! Recipe for a successful marriage.

          • Ashley Penn

            My husband’s recipe is:

            Happy wife, happy life.

            I’ve taught him well. 🙂

          • CatoYounger

            Yes, but you also look out for him. If each person looks out for the other, what a great deal. Blessings to you both.

        • msamericanpatriot

          You sound EXACTLY like a third wave feminist with the tripe you are saying. What kind of father figure did you have as a child or any form of strong male role model? Apparently NONE since you are advocating for the women to forgo personal responsibility. I had a STRONG father in my life who taught me NOT to dress like a slut, pay attention to my surroundings and made sure my mom and I attended a weaponless self defense class at our church when I was younger. I am proud of how my father raised me.

        • CatoYounger

          Shouldn’t you be over on the Mother Jones site spewing your bitterness with all the other feminazis?

      • Candice Truett

        So what if she looks like either picture? The women are totally covered in both pictures.

        • backwardsprogress

          100% of men thank you for being oblivious.

      • TiMANosaurusRex

        O.O Wherever it is that they put together girls like that, I’d like an all day pass. ?

        • backwardsprogress

          LOL… crossfit?

    • Rushfan2112

      Are thieves more likely to rob a house with the door wide open? Or one that is shut, locked, and has big dogs inside.

      • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

        I’m not talking about the pervs, I’m talking about the man who made the comment about what she was wearing. He didn’t need to make the commentary. Nice of him to point out she was being watched and probably not safe, but she wasn’t safe whether she was wearing yoga pants or a skirt or jeans.

        They weren’t stalking her because she was wearing yoga pants. They were stalking her because she was a woman who looked vulnerable ie: not aware of her surroundings, perhaps a slight physical build.

        You are not asking about a a lack of a door. She wasn’t naked. If someone is intent in getting into a house, it doesn’t matter much if the door is wooden or steel.

        And, even if she was naked….it’s not an invitation for violence to be done against her. Just because a door is open, doesn’t mean you are free to walk in and take what you please, either. You’re still in the wrong if you do….not the one who left the door open.

        • Robby

          No one is advocating that whether the door is open or closed determines if it’s OK. The point is, keep the damn door closed and protect your assets. Why is that so hard to get through to feminists?

          • msamericanpatriot

            Because feminists want to eschew themselves of ALL the responsibility of acting like an adult.

          • Heather Nicole Mattingly

            Women CAN’T protect themselves. Feminists have made it clear that women are absolutely helpless. Don’t lock your doors, teach thieves not to steal.

          • msamericanpatriot

            You sound like an anti feminist there with your teach thieves not to steal comment. Kudos to you.

        • CatoYounger

          You are exactly part of the problem the Chicks are talking about here. You’ve been conditioned to take offense at everything.

        • Rushfan2112

          My only issue with your statememt is the assumption of their motives to fit your narrative.

    • Madeline Grace Kelble

      I was going to comment something similar! I definitely have a problem with how this article made it seem like this guy was somehow saving her from herself.

      • CatoYounger

        That’s because you’ve been conditioned to take offense.

        • Madeline Grace Kelble

          Humans take offense. I would say the same about either gender.

    • CatoYounger

      He was pointing out that she was in a more dangerous area than she realized. He had caught the other guys checking her out and probably deciding whether to make a “play” for her. He was trying to be nice. But if all you see is your own problems and need to be offended you will miss it.

  • Westy

    If anyone needed to be “slut shamed”, it should have been her girlfriend. But I don’t live in the bazzarro world of today.
    Have a one night stand with a stranger you met on Tinder? Perfectly okay.
    Wear gym clothing out in public? You are a whore.
    God help us all.

    • Rushfan2112

      I dont think anyone called her a whore…

      In my opinion, though, they both make you whores.

      • Resa Forseth Wagner-Pittman

        A pair of pants, the style of which is available in every department store around, to anyone who wants to buy them, makes someone a whore?

        For real?

        There is something wrong with your opinion. You ought to keep it to yourself.

        • CatoYounger

          Ask yourself this, if you spend all your time wearing skimpy gym clothing out in public, why is that?

          • RelativeChaos00

            Maybe because some of us go to the gym every day and don’t have enough time to change our clothing 4 times a day to avoid offending someone else’s delicate sensibilities? You know, because we have other responsibilities to juggle. Yoga pants do not a slut make. It’s rather pathetic that even needs to be said.

        • Rushfan2112

          Apparently sarcasm is lost upon you.

      • Candice Truett

        Wait; what wearing gym clothing in public makes you a whore? OMG you are either trying to be a troll or an idiot.

        • Rushfan2112

          *facepalm*

  • The_Physetor

    Pity the college women who are getting drilled (pardon the pun) in spotting “microaggressions” but seem clueless about the real world. If there’s a king cobra somewhere in the room, a person trained to be on guard for invisible pixies is at a serious disadvantage.

  • Jeffreyamo

    The idea that this scenario can be played out as a negative is exactly why men have increasingly stopped “looking out” for women.

    • TiMANosaurusRex

      Precisely.

    • msamericanpatriot

      They have been painted as toxic thanks to third wave feminism.

  • Pooh Percy

    I just think so many young women have grown up around history’s biggest generation of wimps so long that they don’t know how to react when they deal with actual men.

    • msamericanpatriot

      Feminsim has made men that way. To the third wave feminist, masculinity is seen as toxic and should be eradicated at all costs. So what actual/real men are out there are few and far between.

  • Eric L.

    Isn’t this the same site that came out AGAINST the woman who wrote a blog post saying she was choosing modesty over yoga pants??

    Good night, Chicks. Y’all are yoga-pants-bi-polar.

  • timcooper62

    I will volunteer for the job of female in yoga pants inspector.

  • WGB

    I luv my yoga pants and I’m still a lady ;).

  • Lone

    I better play it safe and break out my burqa. Grrrrrr……

  • Danny

    So you ware tight gym pants to the store, and if any 8red blooded male stares at your ass he’s labeled a pervert. Then you must be one ugly, boney ass bitch!

  • AlanABQ

    Look, I get the social problem of men who have no tact, no class, and no sense of boundaries. I’ve always thought that cat-calling, whistling, gesturing, thinly-veiled innuendo, and intense staring were all signs of an immature male who spends very little time with women in any capacity.
    And I know that a lot of people in general don’t know how to bring up something to a stranger, even if it’s not an uncomfortable topic.
    What bothers me just as much is that in this drive to be hyper-sensitive to the feelings and needs of everyone around us in this so-called politically correct pseudoculture, we have begun to lose several things. One of them is ability to quickly get to the point about a topic; everything has to be comparmentalized, cateorized, labeled, and scrutinized to death…apparently, no one is able to speak their mind openly and plainly for fear of saying something that could possibly, in a indirect sort of way, offend somebody who may or may not be part of the conversation or even be present, for that matter.
    We have words that are “triggers”, we have “manspreading”, “slut shaming”, “micro-aggression”, “hate speech”, “speech codes”…we even have “fart rape” (yes, it’s a real thing)! On and on it goes.
    And while everybody in this ever-so-forward society is falling all over each other to speak in these speech shackles, we’re losing our ability to communicate with one another. The main result is not ever getting a point across in a timely manner , and by the time the conversation has gone on for a few minutes, the only thing happening some angry chess game with words.
    Long story short, this PC nonsense is a thought-stopping tactic used by people not accostumed to holding their own so the speak, in an argument or debate. Nothing stops a conversation cold quite the way loudly saying “THAT’S RACIST” or “THAT’S SEXIST”. Because once that happens, you’re suddenly having to get defensive and backtrack to explain what you thought was merely a descriptive word or phrase; your conversation has effectively been derailed & any point you might have been trying to make is pretty much a lost cause.

    If you can’t freely exchange your words, how are you going to exchange your ideas?

  • So, by her her Own admission (tight pants, yelling on phone about having sex); she DESERVES to be slut shamed since she is acting like a, well, a Slut!!

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