What The Women’s March Was Really About, As Explained By Their Signs

What The Women’s March Was Really About, As Explained By Their Signs

So the Women’s March happened all around the country on Saturday, and while I’ve heard all sorts of coverage on it, there’s one thing that remains unclear to me: What were they all protesting? Surely not the peaceful transition of power between one rightfully elected president to another, right? These women claim to care about Democracy, and rights, and individual choices, and diversity of thought, and so on and so forth, so surely it’s not that. So what is it, then?

I have a feeling that they won’t take too kindly to my questions, so maybe I’ll just let the signs they so lovingly crafted do the talking!

Ooooh ok, we’re off to a good start. I love Grease. And I too oppose panty legislation! No laws about panties! Deal. Consider it done! Can we all go home now?

So I’m going to be honest, it was silly when Green Day said it, and it looks silly now. But again, agreed. None of us want that. Who here wants that? I’m confused.

Um… that’s disgusting. Moving on.


A uterus giving the finger! YOUR MESSAGE IS LOUD AND CLEAR! I’M STARTING TO GET IT! Wait…nope. Don’t get it.

Right on. Mine belongs to me too! You know what also belongs to me? My money. Wanna chat about it?


WE WANT MORE NAZI PUNCHING! WE WANT IT NOW!


I guess I’d be pissed too… march away, girl.


Ok, I get being upset about teeth, but this vagina is shiny. So why are you angry? Is it TOO shiny?


What is so bad? Tell me, PLEASE! I’m begging you! I NEED TO KNOW!


RIP Carrie Fisher. Is this a funeral procession? I knew she was popular, but this is excessive!


Look! A Justin Bieber lyric!


You are protesting ALL of the injustices? No wonder so many people are here. Let’s talk about how women and homosexuals are treated in the Middle East! No? Not those injustices? Oh, ok.


Weird, I don’t remember that one. I do, however, remember Exodus 20:13. I’m sure you do too, seeing as you’re a big fan of scripture.


This classy woman is very upset she hasn’t gotten the chance to pee on President Trump.


Protest ugly fonts!

Good thing we didn’t elect Hillary then, seeing as BILL IS RAPIST! You’re here to celebrate, right? Oh, you’re not.


So why are you angry? Why are you DOING THIS? EXPLAIN YOURSELF! WE’RE RUNNING OUT OF TIME HERE.


Um…….


Showing off the fandom! So is this like a Gencon or a Comicon or something? That explains the costumes! Oh, they’re not costumes? Oh.


No. No it doesn’t. It doesn’t speak for itself. You’re protesting Buttheads? Farting Buttheads? That’s what you’re protesting?


OMG BUT WHAT IS IT?! WHAT IS THE SH*T YOU’RE PROTESTING?!?!?!?!?!?!

So…. are you feeling clear on all of this now? Yeah, neither am I. I have sorted through many, many, many of these signs, and have come to one conclusion. They don’t know what their message is either. They just know they’re AAAAANGRY and they have vaginas. Excellent!

Fortunately, they were all kind and considerate enough to dump their posters on the street at the end so we can keep trying to educate ourselves!

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